Suburban Dictionary Explains How To Get Laid

So you’re trying to get frisky with the ladies, but you’ve been striking out? Don’t worry. Suburban Dictionary will help you bang the girl down the block. Results vary by age, but the basic principles are the same. Here are a few nuggets of wisdom.

The thing you have to remember is that women are not as interested in sex as you are. It is true that they often hide the degree to which they want it, but that doesn’t mean they want it as much as you do. If they did, it wouldn’t be so hard to get sex from them. Duh! Because of this difference, you have to understand that a randomly-given come-on will almost always fail. So, you have to hunt for Tang strategically. Also, keep in mind that you have to approach getting laid differently than getting into a relationship. Do not follow the advice ‘just be yourself.’ After all, how has that been working out for you?

Appearance

You don’t have to be good looking to get laid. Ashton Kutcher and Brad Pitt aren’t the only ones getting it in. You just have to put in some effort and appear as if you are doing so.

  • Hygiene

Have a good haircut and stay as clean as possible. Make sure that you smell good, with fresh breath and light cologne. Check your lips and eyes for crust throughout the day. They are automatic deal breakers.

  • Facial Hair

You should have facial hair to increase your sex appeal. Clean-shaven guys lack sex appeal, unless they have sharp jaw lines. Do you have a sharp jaw line? If not, grow a goatee, mustache, or groomed beard. Santa Claus beards actually turn women off, so keep it very tame.

  • Clothes

There is no single clothing style that appeals to all women, but rest assured that women want clothes that are free of wrinkles and stains. Keep it fresh at all times. No exceptions.

Slang Dictionary

Success

Women want to have sex with someone successful or clearly headed there. Call it evolutionary, cultural, whatever. It doesn’t matter where it came from because it will factor into getting laid regardless. Don’t brag to women about how large your bank account is or how smart you are. Just make it clear that you have a car, a job, and that you are striving for more. You want to seem valuable so that they feel as if they are porking someone who’s worth it.

Where to Go

The best places to find women who will give you easy sex are bars, nightclubs, and parties. This is because they will be more likely to have lowered inhibitions as a result of drinking alcohol. Plus, the women who aren’t actually drunk can blame their horniness on the alcohol.

(One important side note- do not try to get women drunk by buying them drinks. A lot of women take advantage of guys who want to get laid by buying them drinks. Usually the woman gets what she wants and walks away. Do not fall for it. Talk to women who are drinking already or who appear drunk. Do not hit on stiff women who are sitting at the bar with nothing.)

What to Do

Act as smooth as you can. This puts the girl at ease and makes it seems as if you are a person of great value. There is nothing worse than awkwardness. Awkwardness seems like guilt or judgment within the guy. Women are likely to feel vulnerable in the dating world, so if it seems as if you are awkward, it may look like you’re hiding something. If you’re hiding something, the girl may fear that you are a serial killer or a rapist. You’ve heard of the word ‘creeper’, right? Yeah, your awkwardness actually scares women. Fix it.

While you’re interacting, make sure you smile and maintain eye contact. Smiles are contagious, and they bring good feelings. Eye contact can intensify your connection and establish your dominance. Try to compliment the girl early on about something non-physical (e.g. her dress, shoes, etc.) so that she knows that her effort in improving her appearance is appreciated. It also reinforces your value because you place yourself in a position where you can make positive judgments about her.

Once you have chatted with her, leave the conversation. After an hour or so, come back. Suggest that you go to another place to get some fresh air. A 24 hour breakfast place or somewhere that serves dessert would be best. It’s good to go somewhere else because interacting in multiple locations tricks the mind assuming that you know each other. At the end of the night, suggest coffee or watching a movie together. Don’t specify that you want it at your place. Most importantly, don’t be awkward about it. Keep it cool!

The Fun And Varied Uses Of A Slang Dictionary

If you haven’t heard about a Slang Dictionary, it is probably the time that you check out one online. There are many names for such dictionaries that largely vary from your conventional dictionaries. Often known as an urban dictionary, the main purpose of such a dictionary is to offer you the meaning of words and phrases that are used in daily life or by the young generation but haven’t found a place in popular dictionaries. Have you heard about the word called Mitch? If not, you need to check such an urban dictionary where you will find that it stands for the male version of bitch and was popularised by real husbands of Hollywood.

Slang Dictionary

There are many such words and phrases that you may have heard but failed to find a meaning while checking the dictionary, and that’s the reason probably one designed a slang or urban dictionary. More than educating, the purpose of such dictionary is to increase your urban vocabulary and offer you some elements of fun. The best thing is you can locate such a dictionary online and can be used almost anywhere, right on your laptop or even on your phone.

Next time you hear of Mitch, don’t look around but use the slang dictionary, and you will find association with Real Husbands Of Hollywood. That’s sheer fun, and many of the dictionaries even allow you to add new words, and that means if you have a new word in stock, you can get others to know the same, as well.

How to be a Successful Gold Digger

So you’ve decided that feminism wasn’t for you? Don’t want to marry Average Joe either? Fantastic. Here, Suburban Dictionary provide you with some tips on how to snag that rich guy you’ve always felt you deserved. My strategy for becoming a Gold Digger is split into two parts- things you must work on yourself and actions you must take in the dating scene. Results aren’t guaranteed, but the odds are a hell of a lot higher than playing the lottery. Bank on it.

Work on Yourself:

If you intend to become a gold digger, you must change your mind set. Ultimately, you are creating a business exchange in which you trade your physical appearance for the man’s finances. This means that your body becomes a physical business asset with dating market value, determined by the number and quality of guys who want to bang you.

No one has a perfect body, and there are several ways of improving your physical attributes. This means that you have to invest significant amounts of money and effort into your body before you enter the gold digger arena. Here are just a few things you should probably do if you want to increase your chances.

1) Become skinny- Rich guys like skinny women. Before you get angry and try to debate this point, think about it. Losing weight may require liposuction and dramatic changes in eating habits.

2) Implants- Guys don’t want to date Butterbodies. Almost all of them want someone curvy. Rich white guys go for big breasts (C cup absolute minimum), while their black colleagues prefer big junk in the trunk.

3) Facial surgery- Rich guys don’t want to date Butterface either. If you think that your face has some imperfection, you might actually be right. Examine your options with plastic surgery.

These suggestions are expensive, but that doesn’t mean they’re entirely optional. Remember, you have to be one of the hottest chicks around to compete. Don’t worry if you go a few thousand dollars in debt. Hot chicks can have those things paid off in no time.

What to Do:

After you have perfected your body, you can go into the sea to find your Daddy Warbucks.

1) Change your Job- If you want to find rich men, you have to be around them. One of the ways to do this is to change your job to one that involves interacting with wealthy clients. Jobs that fit this description include working at a luxury car dealership, high-end real estate, or working at a trendy urban bistro. Working for a cleaning service would be unwise, as he wants to be able to brag about meeting you.

2) Donate to Charities- What this means is not giving $5 to the PTA or buying Girl Scout cookies. It means donating a few thousand dollars to local (wealthy) charity benefits so that you can attend their exclusive soirees. Rich men will be there, and you will have the advantage over the other hot women who didn’t invest.

3) Participate in Community Service- Join city-wide community service groups. They have tons of hipsters and wealthy men. The key is that they are large and established. Participating will show the men that you care, and it will allow you to attend cocktail dinners where you can show yourself off.

4) Learn how to cook- Exchanging your body for Mr. Right’s riches is an imperfect arrangement at its core because there are more hot women than rich guys. He can easily replace you if he wants, so you need a trump card. Cooking can be just that. Most gold diggers can’t cook, so you would already be ahead of the curve. Plus, cooking will give the man memories of his childhood and images of a future of you having his kids. It’s a no brainer really. You don’t have to be an expert in making epic, homemade Gumbo or anything. Just be decent at it.

Words of caution:

- You have to start early to be a real gold digger. Early twenties is the ideal time.

- Gold diggers should be college educated so that they can find decent employment between guys and the arrangement doesn’t seem so obvious.